A Reclusive Heart Read online

  Of course all his plans went to hell the moment he saw another man kiss her.

  All he could think of at the time was that another man was touching his little recluse. Even as he grabbed the guy he knew what he was doing and that it could very well be the end of his career, but he hadn’t given a damn. All that mattered was taking care of Jamie and if he hadn’t been so furious at the time the realization would have probably worried him like it did now.

  “Are you going to let me in?” she asked, sighing heavily with annoyance and sounding so damn cute that he had to stop himself from smiling.

  “No.”

  There was a brief pause before she said, “If you do I’ll tell you about the new book I’m writing and the big surprise,” she said brightly, probably hoping to lure him into letting her in and pestering him.

  “I don’t care,” he said, surprising even himself. As her editor he should care.

  The woman’s books were a goldmine and he’d be an idiot not to find out what she was working on so he could prepare an advertising campaign, but at the moment he simply didn’t care.

  The only thing he cared about at the moment was getting his head clear, perhaps getting drunk as he tried to figure out how to explain to this whole thing to Rick in the morning when he called up to chew Nick’s ass out for the pictures that were no doubt already making the rounds on the internet.

  “You’re really not coming out of there?” she asked, sounding disappointed.

  “No.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes!”

  “Fine,” she said, sighing unhappily. “I guess I’ll just go without you.”

  He didn’t bother responding as he took a sip of his beer. She could go out on her own for one night. She’d be more than fine. Besides he doubted that she was doing anything dangerous. Knowing his little recluse she was probably getting around to the little karaoke item on her to do list that had made him want to cry.

  Actually if she was hitting a karaoke bar then he definitely wasn’t going with her, he decided, taking another sip of his beer.

  “Okay, but if you need me I’ll be at Extreme Tattoo on Elm Street. I’ll be back later,” she said brightly as he choked on his beer.

  ******

  “What do you think of that one?” she asked, pointing to a skull with snakes coming out of its eyes to make Nick laugh, but the man only glared down at her.

  He’d been doing it for the past hour. Well, actually for the first twenty minutes he argued against her going through with this, but this was something that she wanted to do and wouldn’t let anyone talk her out of. For years she toyed with the idea of getting a tattoo, but her family’s disapproving attitude and her inability to stick up for herself held her back. After the phone call from her mother she decided that she was done letting her family’s expectations, needs and wants dictate her life. This was her life and she was going to start really living it.

  It also didn’t hurt that over the past month she’d learned to take chances and enjoy her life. Before this tour she only dreamed of doing things like riding on a motorcycle or trying out paintball, but now that she did them she couldn’t help but want to do all of those other things that she’d been curious about over the years.

  She was still nervous. Not that she’d admit that to Nick, but she was glad that he came with her tonight. She only wished that he’d lighten up a bit.

  “This is permanent, Jamie,” he reminded her, again.

  “That’s the whole point, Nick,” she said, walking over to the picture of the tribal tattoo that she’d chosen ten minutes ago. It was black, intricate and beautiful and she couldn’t wait to have it on her body.

  “I really think that you should take some time and think this over,” he said as he ran his eyes over the artwork on the wall.

  “I’ve been thinking about doing this for years, Nick. It’s not like I’m making some drunken impulsive decision,” she pointed out.

  “Then what would one more week hurt?” he asked, still not looking at her.

  She’d noticed since he opened his door to try and stop her from doing this that he wouldn’t look her in the eye, or at her face for that matter. She didn’t know what was wrong and wasn’t going to stress herself out trying to figure it out.

  “Are you ready?” the tattoo artist names Bret asked as he gestured for her to come with him.

  She didn’t even hesitate when she said, “Yes,” and followed after him. She ignored Nick’s muttered curses and focused on getting something she’d always wanted.

  This was going to be great!

  ******

  “Ow! Owie!” Jamie cried out, but thankfully didn’t move.

  It was bad enough that she was going through with this asinine plan, she didn’t need a fucked up tattoo on top of everything. He really wished she’d listened to him, but the damn stubborn woman wouldn’t listen to reason. Tattoos on women were tacky and he hated the idea of her marring her body with one. It didn’t matter how sexy the woman was, tattoos always turned him off. Then again maybe it was for the best that she was getting something done to her that would repulse him, he decided as Jamie squeezed his hands tightly.

  “I think he’s almost done,” he said soothingly even as he prayed that it was the truth. His damn legs were cramping up, but he refused to let her hands go out of fear that she would bolt and screw up the tattoo.

  “That’s what you said an hour ago!” Jamie said accusingly as she squeezed her eyes shut.

  “It was ten minutes ago, Jamie. It only seems like an hour ago because you’re in pain,” he explained as gently as he could while Jamie continued to mutter a combination of “ow” and “owie.”

  “Almost done,” Bret thankfully said.

  Nick didn’t bother looking at her tattoo as it was being drawn on. He’d still been too upset that she was doing something this stupid. He still couldn’t believe she was getting it on her lower back, right above her ass and yeah, when the guy had her drop her pants and panties halfway down her ass he looked and drooled.

  She really had a beautiful ass. It was round, soft and groan worthy, but the damn woman decided to ruin the scenery with a tramp stamp of all things. No doubt by next week he was going to have to take her to have the damn thing removed.

  “All set,” Bret announced.

  Jamie cracked one eye open. “Are you sure?”

  “Yup.”

  With that, Jamie was off the table and righting her clothes even as she walked stiff legged to front of the store to pay the man.

  “Don’t you want to look at it?” Nick asked, frowning when the stubborn woman shook her head and kept moving.

  With a sigh he followed after her, making a mental note to pick up chocolate on the way to the hotel since there was no doubt that she was going to need it.

  ******

  “What now?” he asked wearily as he opened his door and found his little recluse shifting nervously in front of him in a baby blue tee shirt and another pair of those damn flannel pants that he shouldn’t find sexy, but did.

  “I can’t get the bandage off. It’s been more than two hours and I’m supposed to wash it now with a little bit of antibacterial soap,” she said, holding up the small bottle of liquid hand soap, “and gently wipe it, but I can’t reach the top corners of the bandage.”

  Pinching the bridge of his nose as he wondered when this horrible day would end, he stepped to the side and allowed her to come in. The sooner he got this over with the sooner she’d leave and he could return to staring at the television as he tried not to think of all the bullshit that waited for him tomorrow.

  “Where do you want to do this?” she asked, looking around the small hotel room.

  “Get on the bed, Jamie,” he said, gesturing lazily towards the double bed.

  “O-okay,” she said nervously as she put the soap and tube of ointment she’d been carrying onto the edge of the bed and carefully laid across the bed on her stomach.

  When she didn
’t move her shirt and pants out of the way so that he could get to the tattoo he resigned himself to the task. He paused by the bed and pulled his shirt off over his head before it got ruined by the ointment.

  “I have to move your clothes out of the way,” he explained even as he reached for her tee-shirt. Thankfully she had enough sense not to argue and even raised up a bit to help him with the task. He pushed it up until it reached her underarms and then reached for her flannel pajama pants, careful not to touch the bandage and hurt her.

  When his fingers brushed against her surprisingly firm ass he had to take a deep breath to get his breathing under control. He was supposed to be doing her a favor, not ogling her ass, he reminded himself as he pulled her pants and panties down, revealing move of her ass.

  “Mercy,” he hissed softly at the sight.

  “What?” Jamie asked, moving to turn over, but he stopped her by placing a hand on her back to keep her right where she was.

  “Nothing. I’m going to take the bandage off now. Try not to move,” he said, reaching for the corner of the large white gauze pad as he prepared himself for the splash of cold water that he tattoo would douse his lust for her.

  Five minutes later the bandage was removed and his damn cock was straining in his pants to get to her. Of course it would turn him on if it was on his little recluse, he thought dryly as he gently cleaned the black tattoo that he couldn’t help imagine tracing with his tongue. As soon as it was clean he applied the ointment that would protect it and washed his hands.

  By the time he stepped out of his bathroom he expected to find Jamie dressed and scrambling for the door, but instead he found her right where he left her.

  Wondering what was wrong since his little recluse by all rights should have yanked her clothes back into place the second he announced that he was done, he walked over to her and couldn’t help but smile when her cute little snores reached his ears.

  He considered waking her up and sending her to her room, but then decided against that. The poor thing was exhausted and probably wouldn’t have the energy to walk back to her room. At least that’s what he told himself as he gripped the bottom of her pant legs and carefully pulled them off her. Then he readjusted her pretty light green panties to cover her bottom and frowned down at her shirt.

  With the ointment on her back her shirt would stick to her new tattoo and he wasn’t sure if that would damage the tattoo. Plus the guy told her to leave it exposed to air whenever she could. Not knowing what else to do, he reached down and worked her shirt off, careful not to wake her or roll her onto her back. When that was done he turned up the heat, dropped his pants and joined her on the bed, preparing himself for a long night of torture as the object of his desire lay less than six inches away practically naked.

  As he started to doze off with a rather painful erection he couldn’t help but wonder if this was hell.

  Chapter 15

  As she slowly woke up she couldn’t help but wonder why she was naked.

  Then Bret’s instructions from the night before ran through her head and she remembered that she planned on sleeping in the buff for the first time in her life to save her tattoo from being ruined. It had also been on her list, well the mental portion of her list, to try out and she had to admit that it wasn’t all that bad. She could totally see why people slept like this.

  Of course when she moved to turn over all rational thought left her brain as her eyes landed on Nick, no, correction, a half naked Nick. She felt her eyes widen in appreciation at the sight that he made. When her eyes landed on his normally styled and neat blond hair she couldn’t help but smile. The mused look looked really good on him. It gave him that sexy bad boy look with a touch of sweetness that she found endearing.

  She ran her eyes over his handsome face, down his neck, over his well defined biceps, chest and abs only to land on his gray boxer briefs and stayed there. As much as she’d love to look away at the moment she couldn’t. This was her first up close look of that area. Granted it was covered by his underwear, but that wasn’t stopping her from getting an eyeful at the moment.

  Wow……

  Were all men that big? she wondered as she watched in utter fascination as the large thing in his underwear started to get bigger until it strained against the material and the large pink tip pushed itself out from beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs. For a moment she laid there, helpless to move or even breathe.

  Actually, now that she saw one, well part of one up close and personal, she was a little frightened. There was no way something like that was going to fit inside of her. It was physically impossible and it helped her realize that she really wasn’t ready for sex. Correction, she was pretty sure she was ready for all the other stuff, just not the actual sex part. She didn’t want to do that yet. Not until she was comfortable about being intimate with a man and if she had to look forward to being split in two by a monster like that the first time it would be a long time before she had sex.

  It would probably be better if she learned how to please a man before she actually had sex just in case she was bad at it. She should probably find a man that she trusted to introduce her into sex, but the problem was that she didn’t know any man that would be interested in that job. The only man she trusted enough to do that with unfortunately was the same man that didn’t see her as anything more than a job.

  Sure they were friends right now, but she seriously doubted he’d bother acknowledging her when this tour was over. She was far from being his type and as much as she’d love to say that she wasn’t interested in him she couldn’t lie. She was. Even if it was just a short affair she would love to be with him. Nick was exciting, sweet in a cranky way that she found endearing, handsome, and probably the sexiest man she’d ever seen. It really was too bad that he’d never be interested in her because she would love toShe lost her train of thought when Nick’s warm lips brushed against hers as he cupped her jaw with one hand. When she gasped in surprise he took advantage and slid his tongue into her mouth. The idea of some guy’s tongue in her mouth never appealed to her before. Then again she’d never imagined Nick doing this to her, but now that he was she found that she rather liked it.

  Unable to help herself, she reached up and cupped the back of his head, sliding her fingers through his thick hair as she tentatively slid her tongue against his. His growl excited her so she slid her tongue against his again. It wasn’t until he dropped his hand from her face and wrapped his arm around her to pull her tightly against him that she remembered that she was currently topless.

  She stilled at the alien sensation of having her breasts plastered against a man, but it didn’t last long. Soon she was pressing back against him, moaning as her hard nipples slid over his warm firm chest and through the sparse crisp hair the covered his chest. Her enjoyment lasted until she suddenly found herself on her back with Nick lying on top of her and one hand on her breast. As good as it felt to have him on top of her and touching her it also scared the hell out of her.

  “Nick, stop,” she said, hating the way her voice trembled.

  Not even a second later Nick stopped and was off of her and she couldn’t stop her sigh of relief which caused him to frown.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked as he reached over to brush the hair out of her face.

  She opened her mouth to calmly explain the situation, but instead found herself blurting out, “I don’t want to be torn in two.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth she groaned out of embarrassment, covered her face with her hands and since that wasn’t enough she buried her face in the pillow all while praying that he forgot that she was there and went about his business. But of course it didn’t work out that way.

  “Care to explain,” he said, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

  She mumbled into her pillow.

  “Sorry, I didn’t catch that,” he said, sounding amused.

  With a sigh she turned her head slightly and repeated it. “I said I don’t think I’m ready for sex.” W
ith that announcement she buried her face back against the pillow and prayed for a quick death.

  “I know,” he said, pressing another kiss to her shoulder.

  She moved her hands away from her face and turned to lie on her side, facing him, careful to cover her breasts with her arms. “You do?”

  “Yes,” he said, moving closer to her as he laid his hand on her hip and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “I’m well aware of that fact, Jamie.”

  “Oh,” she said, frowning.

  “But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want you,” he explained, making her blush and fight back a rather pleased smile. That is until he added, “You’re the type of woman who needs to be in a solid relationship with a man before you give up that kind of trust and I’ll never be him,” he said gently.

  “I know,” she reluctantly admitted on a sigh. As much as she wanted to try sex, and she did as long as she wasn’t split in two, she also had to admit that she just couldn’t sleep with anyone. She wished that she could, but she had too many trust issues to be able to do something like that. She wondered if Nick realized that since the beginning of this agreement.

  “What I can give you,” Nick said, pressing another kiss to her